mot de manda

the best time of our lives

why this topic, why today?
1. because of the laughter today
2. because it's not only me who suddenly giggle in the middle of class
3. because when i was questioned and end up in gathering all the pieces of past-happiness, i feel excitement and reasons why i should be thankful of.

and also, the french way of answering to the questions: pourquoi pas? or why not?

ok, the laughter. it was so free that i felt the person might be really happy on that time. i was indeed. but anyway, does the person feel happy? nobody knows, but him. my part is to wonder - how long the happiness, if it ever exist, could stay in his memory?

one might think it depends on the significance. but really, is it as simple as that? in some stories that i heard, little tiny silly things happen to be the spice of the life. hence, i don't know for sure the reason, but for sure significance is not always significant then.

why i want to know the reasonings why certain moments are more favored to come to one's mind when the question comes is to try to overlook on my happy moments and try to categorize them based on a certain logic.

nothing is logical though. no order. one is something that i was and am really happy like in a fantasy - with a clear physical symptoms heart beat and breath to replace the excitements. while some are vague. it was so great, then flat, then when it comes to re-think about it, yeah that was one of the best moments in my life. some are the great ones but stored in brain cells untouched for such a long time.

in any cases, how would we know the real ones? im not writing here the right answers. but i guess, it includes the ones that make you giggle for a while, or continuosly smile all day. and also, the ones that the more i think about the more happy i am :).

if, you are still reading this writing, in your mind, are you thinking any of happy moments or so called best moments of your life? what's that?

well, for me, another pieces of puzzles, when this question kicks in again the future, is foreseen.

[a piece due to the struck of happiness-lightning =) ]

there are always two sides...

of anything.

i was always amazed with people who could actually see the positivities on any actions. lately, professionnally described ones.

the way i see it, it's not easy. well, for sure, it wouldn't be easy to admit (by saying) something that is not coherent to our principle, would it? for me, yes it is not easy. so, i could say that it is not easy to say positivities if  we, or rather i, do not either see, or agree or even put some faith on that positivities. in easier-to-digest words, if it's spontaneous / made-up.

if i go back to the title, then i have to be taking the other side now. it isn't easy either to see the negatives ones, sometimes. because we don't always believe in what public condemn as bad. but, i must say that in most of the cases, i did it indeed, without any trouble. but quickly, again, it's not done well - i believe. think about it, why would we think on the negativities, if indeed, nothing could be done afterwards.

so yes, it is difficult to do any one of them. so, maybe, im just guessing here, it would be much easier to be in neutral line. silence is gold. yeah, standing just in the boundary. moving as far as the space given by the boundary. it sounds simpler, and yet simple means easy.

but afterall, it is only easy till the emotion starts to participate. then, all the three options are not any good. it is not a fun way to procastinate and waste energy on, for sure.

feel & action

what you feel only matters to you;

is what you do to the people you say you love that's what matters;

that's the only thing that counts.

[the last kiss]

let's walk the talk (and thought)!

the quote reminds me of my just few minutes ago 'a cup of coffee' which is very good in keeping me awake till now. it's merely on what a person thinks, and then the action he chose to do. it's interesting that i found the quote just few minutes after that. he seems not to be sure on what to do, or i must say, he is not sure on what he did is the right one. well, he made the choice, made the move, turned his thinking into an action at least.

 

why action is more important? it's a real thing that other people can see, perceive, response and also unfortunately judge. that's how to convey of what's really on your mind. if it turns out to be unfavorable, not as simple as a click, but there's often the better way to get on the right one. bold indication on the to-improve and the turning point seems to be necessary though...

   

or else, as the master of mind. change the feeling. because it's nobody else but ourselves who can change what we feel. seems to be more difficult, but really, to change what's beneath and inside requires less effort than to change the whole world to satisfy us.

story of a friend is often to be the right coffee for a long night..

Templo de Debod

A picture of my favorite place in Madrid, Templo de Debod @ Parque del Oeste
It's reconstruction of the temple that is found in Nil River, in Egypt.

Que bonita! Si, las chicas y son bonitas =). El lugar también. Me gusta muchissimo.

let me know..

ok, so this is not a complaint...it's just a little story of my last days in Madrid which I think it's commonly used by people. but then i realized, i don't really know what it means..

professor in the class:
" bla bla bla bla...because there might be personal interest, for example in negotiation in Japan, you might want to go to Japan itself. or you want to  secret-word"
[class giggling]
"bla bla bla bla....everybody likes secret-word!right? who doesn't like secret-word?"
[class shaking their head]
"well, if someone doesn't like secret-word, let me know.. there must be something wrong with you"

my hand was almost up to the air "sir, i don't think i like secret-word!" but again, it's not about complaining.

i merely dont understand when he said, let me know... if someone really did let him know of his opinion, then what this professor would do? i guess nothing. it would change nothing. the class might laugh, a good thing. with additional unbelievable face from professor maybe.

the part that i don't understand "let  me know". what would you do, after saying the phrase? would you resolve the problem (if any).

well, let me know, what actually 'let me know' could mean.

disclaimer: secret-word is used instead of xxxxx that can make you think it's something that it's not the one i meant.=p

*unaccidentally published, so yup here all that i have.

it's not important nor needed

On the last -should be enjoyable- days in lovely Madrid, both my brain and my heart are screaming aloud. Not enthusiastically, but emotionally. Of a saying, i mean thousand times saying, "not important" slash "not necessary". No, not because the curiosity is still there, not about being unsatisfied.

 

But seriously, when one keeps saying that, i keep questioning,  "SO, WHAT'S IMPORTANT FOR YOU???". Or do i have to show that specific page on dictionary on letter i, 'important' then you can, hopefully, read and -a little bit more difficult one- understand what it means.

 

Sigh.... ergh....!! And all the rarely used word and writing style have (unfortunately) been conveyed, in hoping for more result. But no, nada. Hm, no regret. Coz decision is made. Not that it's not important nor it's not needed. Indeed, it is both important and necessary. It is just the words of confusion, unability, being selfish and unreasonable proud.

 

Being sarcastic is not necessary but sometimes it's the (only) way to keep moving on - alive.

excrepted from what understood : "humanbeing would never stop complaining"

will we meet?

lying lazily doing nothing at home but merely being at home, i surfed to some of my friends' friendster and blog. i stucked quite for a while at one page with a quite long  and nice phrases. last two parts were:

"if i promise not to feel this pain, will i see u again?"

 

the selfish brain says, if the pain predominates everything, we would never see anybody. not even the closest friend that can make us laugh 24 hour a day, 7days a week, go on and on. because for sure at least for one second, we feel the pain for any reason that's logic. or because the need forces us to forget the pain and still meet.

meanwhile, the heart looks deeper to the question.

New Personality, end of 2007

I just tried a little personality test (from Adilla's Blog). I can't remember what i was defined as in previous test But this new one, shorter and easier to understand, says definitely different thing about me.

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller! In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart. You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. And you do break a lot of hearts. At work, you are driven but not a workaholic. You just always seem to enjoy what you do. You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist. How you see yourself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding When other people don't get you, they see you as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused

A little thing that strikes me, the thinking that has been around my mind for a while. "what if we become the one that we fear of to be with". It's not simpply a matter of pride of what we said in the past nor being inconsistent. Deeper into it, as what we do is real, to the world, not merely and unically to our heart.

dare to find out yours? here you go..

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourpersonalitytypequiz/

one

one would learn from experience

one would go-thorough laughter

one would (not) go for tears

one would say no and yes

one would hate

 

experience teaches

experience tells

but not chase away the hurt

 

one thinks

for more hurt and grins

 

knowing is not the joy

understanding is not the fun

nor is the trust

 

feeling is being alive

no one would gain anything

but left with much more than expected

 

48-hour deal closing, anoche.

semuanya lancar...

di suatu pembicaraan yang ga terlalu memojokkan, tapi membuat manda merasa perlu mencari jalan keluar, terucap 'ya tapi ngejalaninnya terasa lancar semua'. untuk menekankan aja kalau yang kerasa it's the right one. mudah2an sih begitu.

   

ga ada perlawanan. dibenarkan iya. diingatkan dengan bijaksana, 'segala sesuatu yang lancar, mungkin adalah ujiannya'. kena, tepat, di 2 target, hati dan logika. hati karena memang begitu, logika karena life will never be easy.

   

mulai berpikir... iya, there will be something big with this. baru mulai berpikir harus berhati2 dan ga se-ngoyo seperti biasanya. apalagi setelah mendapat loss yang lumayan besar. tapi masih merasa, alhamdulillah itu masih bisa fit in dengan jadwal yang sudah ada. malah membuat tambah bersyukur dan yakin kalau kemudahan2 ini menambahbenarkan semuanya.

   

ternyata, anything can happen in short time. when it's determined to change, it will change... loss lain udah ada lagi. kenapa semua beruntun ya... di hari kamis. bukan karena hari, tapi karena memang sudah takdirnya. ikhlas, insya Allah.

   

ga berhenti bersyukur dan akan terus mencari hikmahnya. walau sudah ada hikmah yang memang sudah dimengerti dan dipahami betul. tapi 1 kejadian bukan karena hanya 1 alasan kan...

   

dari orang terdekat (dengan perubahan menjadi lebih halus :P), 'ini peringatan'. setelah diperingatkan bahwa kemudahan2 ini mungkin ujian, sekarang sudah diberi peringatan... harus lebih hati2, ini no 1. rencana hanya sebuah rencana.

   

dalam hati, "ya Allah, terimakasih ya peringatannya... :)"